Young and Beautiful
by Nicole Elisabeth Harding
Summary: AU - Emma Swan has a troubled past and despite her efforts to move on and put it behind her, somehow it keeps creeping back. Between college classes, roommate drama, friendships, and reluctant dates with the handsome Killian Jones, she doesn't have time to be worrying about her past.
1. Chapter 1

"These dorms are so stinkin' tiny," I grumbled, shouldering the door open and carrying my last box inside.

"Well, at least it's easier than trying to initiate into one of the Greek houses," my roommate offered.

"Thanks, Mary Margaret, for that sage advice," I laughed. "No date tonight?"

"No, David's helping some of the new frat members get settled in," she said, continuing to casually flip through the gossip magazine she was holding. "I can't even remember the name of his frat. Isn't that a laugh?"

"Umm, boys are kind of sensitive about that kind of thing so I would learn it fast," I advised her. "I dated the president of a frat once and it was a major source of manliness for him."

"David's not like that, Emma," Mary Margaret scoffed.

"Maybe not on the outside," I said bitterly.

I'd had quite a few bad experiences with frat boys and their stupid masculine pride. I started unpacking my clothes into the drawers provided, hanging up my few dresses and skirts in the closet.

"Do you like parties?" she asked. "David says that his frat is throwing one tonight and wants me to come. You should too."

"I don't do frat parties," I said with a small laugh. "I prefer to focus on my schooling and actually get good grades."

"I take offense at that," Mary Margaret laughed. "I care about school too!"

I gave her the look before turning back to my unpacking. Because of the small nature of our rooms, I hadn't saved much stuff from my former apartment; donating most of it to the local Goodwill. Mary Margaret jumped off her bed and started holding up outfits in front of a mirror.

"Please, Emma?" she begged. "Classes don't even start until next week."

I sighed. I really did like my new roommate but I really didn't like frat boys or their stupid parties. There was too much drinking, too much sex, and way too much stupid competitions to inflate their egos.

"Fine. Just this once," I agreed begrudgingly. "And you have to help me pick out what to wear."

"Deal," she crowed. "High heels are a must."

"What?" I demanded. "No way. There's going to be drinking and people stumbling around. That's just asking to end up falling on my butt in the middle of the floor."

"Don't worry about it," she laughed. "And no negotiating on that matter."

An hour later, she had me dressed in a jean mini-skirt with a loose white t-shirt and a tight black vest over the top. And yes, she got me into 4-inch wedge boots. Mary Margaret was dressed just as sexy in one of her favorite "little black" dresses. I swear, her heels were higher than mine. I was sure David would appreciate the time she spent picking out her outfit and applying make-up.

I decided it wasn't worth spending a ton of time on my hair so I just let it out of its ponytail and shook it a couple times so that it cascaded over my shoulders in a natural look. Mary Margaret's short pixie-cut didn't require much attention to look gorgeous. She linked arms with me as we walked the short distance to Greek row.

You could hear the music booming from several blocks away. I prepared myself for a major headache before the night was over. When we arrived at the party, people were crowded into the house as well as all over the front lawn. Mary Margaret kept me close as she wound her way through the crowd. She seemed to know exactly where she was going.

"Mary Margaret!" David called out when he saw his girlfriend.

I turned away a little as they shared a passionate kiss. Good grief. What had it been? 3 hours since they saw each other last?

"You remember my roommate, Emma?" Mary Margaret said to David.

David nodded and gave me a quick smile. "Make yourself at home. And don't let any of the guys give you a hard time."

"Thanks," I laughed. "I think I can handle myself."

"Let's get some drinks," Mary Margaret said.

Before I could protest, she grabbed my arm and dragged me over to the kitchen. A cup was thrust into my hand and I figured it wouldn't hurt to let loose just this once. I deserved to have some fun after all.

Half an hour later everything was just one big jumbled mess.

I had way way way too much to drink and it was showing. Mary Margaret was who knows where with David. And I was dancing on the counter, singing at the top of my lungs to the music that was playing. Good news was that I was surrounded by a crowd of screaming, cheering people.

At the end of the song, I half fell, half stepped off the counter and right into the arms of a beautiful dark-haired boy.

"Careful there, love," he chuckled.

He made no move to remove the hands he had put on my waist to steady me. Let me just again be clear that I was VERY drunk at this point. I reached up, put an arm around his neck and kissed him, hard. He responded in kind.

I could hear my heart pounding, even over the catcalls and wild cheers from the people around us. After that point, everything got a little blurry. To be honest, I can't remember most of what happened.


	2. Chapter 2

I woke up in the morning with a nasty headache, wincing from the sunlight streaming through the window. What time was it?

"Good morning, sunshine!" Mary Margaret said in a sing-song voice.

I groaned in response and rolled over, covering my face with my blanket. I felt my bed dip down as Mary Margaret jumped onto it and started poking me.

"Stop it!" I moaned.

"Come on, Emma!" she said brightly. "We're meeting David and one of his frat brothers for lunch!"

"That sounds suspiciously like a double date," I growled. "And you know how I feel about dating."

"That's not what your actions were saying last night when you kissed that guy at the party," she smirked.

"What?" I bolted upright. "When did that happen? I don't remember doing anything of the kind!"

"Yeah, I guess you were more than a little drunk," she laughed. "He was cute though!"

"Well that's reassuring," I drawled sarcastically. "Please please please tell me that nothing else happened?"

"The guy you were with and David carried you home after you collapsed on the floor," she assured me with a grin. "Bonus points for him not taking advantage of you, right?"

"Ugh," I responded. "Well at least I wasn't throwing myself over someone worse."

"Like Neal?"

"No."

I pushed off the covers and walked quickly out of the room, leaving Mary Margaret looking after me regretfully.

I took a quick shower, washing off all of the sweat and grime from the party last night. By the time I got back to the dorm room, Mary Margaret was desperate to make things right.

"Emma, I'm sorry! I shouldn't have brought up Neal. I know it's hard for you to think about," she apologized. "And I picked an outfit out for you to wear to lunch."

I glanced at the pencil skirt and blouse that she had laid out on my bed.

"I don't want to go," I said firmly.

"At least meet the guy before turning him away!" she begged.

I looked at her puppy dog face and sighed.

"Great! Now get changed! They'll be here in a few minutes."

I reluctantly slid into the skirt and loose fitting button-up blouse and brushed my hair a couple of times. Mary Margaret handing me a pair of 4-inch heels and I laughed out loud.

"No way am I wearing these!"

She gave me a pointed glare. I reluctantly sat down and slid them on. I would plague her later when my aching feet were bothering me. She pulled out her phone when it beeped.

"David says they're waiting outside. Let's go meet them!"

"You are way too excited about this," I groaned, grabbing my purse and phone and following her.

Mary Margaret was confident and quick on her heels, but I struggled to keep up with her. True to their word, David and another handsome young man were waiting just outside the doors to our building. David's frat brother looked familiar but I couldn't place where I knew him from.

"Good morning," David said, kissing Mary Margaret lightly. "And Emma. Nice to see you again!"

"You too," I said. "And umm, thanks for your help last night. Mary Margaret told me what happened."

"No problem," he assured her. "I think we were all trying to let loose a bit. It could've happened to anyone. Oh and this is Killian. I believe you two met last night?"

Mary Margaret winked at me and smirked. I tried to keep my jaw from dropping open. Oh my gosh. What were the chances? I was blushing furiously and refused to meet his gaze.

"Nice to meet you," I mumbled.

"The pleasure is all mine, love," he grinned.

"Mary Margaret, I just remember that I have some studying to do that absolutely cannot be put off," I stammered, starting to back away.

She laughed. "Emma, the semester hasn't even started yet! But nice try! This will be fun, I promise."

I grumbled something under my breath about this being a crime against nature. The group started walking the couple blocks to the small restaurant we were going to. Killian fell in step beside me while David and Mary Margaret walked slightly ahead of us.

"Um," I started to say.

"Don't worry about it, lass," he said. "You certainly made my night but I understand that you were hardly yourself at the time."

"I'm sorry," I finished lamely. "Thanks for being so nice about it."

"No problem," he smirked. "Now if sometime you'd like to go on a proper date…"

"Nice try," I laughed. "I don't go on dates. This is a stretch."

"Well then, I'll have to enjoy it while I can," Killian replied. "My name's Killian Jones, by the way. David's introduction was rather rough earlier."

"Emma Swan," I answered.


	3. Chapter 3

I was busily working on a paper in some secluded corner of the library. Music was blasting through my headphones and my foot tapping absently to the beat. I jumped out of my skin when someone tapped me on the shoulder.

"What the heck?" I exclaimed. "Are you trying to scare me to death?"

"Apologies, lass. I was just saying hello."

I stared up at Killian as he settled himself in the chair next to mine and pulled out his laptop.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"What? Am I not allowed to sit here?" he demanded. "It's a free country."

Tired of his games, I shut my laptop and jumped up, hooking my backpack with my free arm.

"Not at all. Enjoy you're free country," I smirked.

Killian grabbed my wrist.

"Do you really hate me that much?"

His expression was pitiful and my heart clenched at the sight of it. But I steeled myself to do what needed to be done and pulled my hand away. Without answering his question, I walked away, not looking back once.

I barely made it around the corner and behind a bookshelf before the flashback hit me.

_"__Emma, I love you," Neal said breathlessly as he kissed me over and over again._

_"__Neal, stop it! You're drunk. You wouldn't be saying these things if you were sober," I resisted._

_"__Yes, I would."_

_He continued throwing himself on me and I tried standing up and walking away. He grabbed my wrist and jerked me back. Overestimating his strength he ended up sending me crashing into the brick wall. I fell to the ground, holding my head. Blood seeped through my fingers._

_"__Emma, I'm sorry," Neal's eyes were wide. "Get up. You need help."_

_I curled in a ball, refusing to move. Drunk beyond belief, Neal got angry at my refusal to obey him._

_"__I said get up!"_

_He grabbed a fistful of hair and jerked. I cried out._

_"__Hey! Leave her alone!" a girl was running up the sidewalk towards us._

_Panicked, Neal let go of me and ran. The girl was moving incredibly fast for wearing high heels and a tight skirt._

_"__Are you all right? Oh my gosh, what happened?"_

_"__My head," was all I managed to say._

_"__I'll get you some help," she assured. "My name's Ruby."_

_"__Emma," I moaned._

_"__Victor!" she called loudly._

_A man came running up to join us._

_"__What's wrong, Ruby?" he asked._

_"__Can you get your car? She needs to get to a hospital."_

_He disappeared back down the street. Ruby leaned over me, pulling off her jacket and pressing it to the wound on my head._

_"__Sorry if this hurts," she winced. "We need to keep you from bleeding out."_

_I collapsed backwards and passed out._

"Emma, are you all right?"

Killian was leaning over me with a concerned look on his face. I dazedly looked at my surroundings and realized I had passed out in the library. My laptop and backpack were on the floor where I must have dropped them.

"Do I need to get a doctor, love?" he persisted.

"I'm fine," I insisted, shaking off his hand on my shoulder.

I pushed myself to my feet, pressing a hand to my head. I must have hit my head on the bookshelf or something. In trying to take a step, I dizzily stumbled into Killian and he instinctively caught me.

"At least let me make sure that you get back to your dorm all right," he said firmly.

I weakly nodded, seeing no other option. He gathered up my things and held them with one arm, putting the other around my shoulders and guiding me towards the exit.

"Does that happen often?" Killian asked.

"Only when something triggers a flashback," I said quietly.

"I overheard Mary Margaret and David talking about your rather ugly break-up. Does it have anything to do with that?"

"A little," I admitted.

Even Mary Margaret and David didn't know the full story of me and Neal. I didn't tell anyone exactly how bad our relationship had been; how abusive. Two kind strangers I had made friends with: Ruby and Victor, knew only because they'd taken me to the hospital.

"You know, Swan, if you ever need to talk, I'm here for you," Killian replied quietly.

"I just need to get home," I groaned a little.

"It's not that far, don't worry."

Mary Margaret and David were sitting on her bed when I arrived and they jumped guiltily.

"Killian?" David questioned. "What brings you here?"

"I was just escorting the lovely Miss Swan home," he answered smoothly.

I shot him a grateful look for not mentioning my fainting spell.

"We were just about to go out to ice cream," Mary Margaret said brightly. "Would you two like to come along?"

I opened and closed my mouth, trying to think of a way to back out without letting them know something was wrong. Frankly, I was exhausted and just wanted to sleep.

"Actually," Killian came to my rescue. "I promised Emma that I would help her with a paper she's trying to write."

"Oh," Mary Margaret looked put out. "Well, I guess we'll leave you to that then."

The two love birds disappeared out the door and Killian set my backpack and laptop on the desk.

"You should get some rest," he advised. "Maybe take some Tylenol for that bump."

"Thanks for your help," I said graciously.

Despite my walls and reservations, I was actually warming up to him. He was proving himself, so far, to be a perfect gentlemen.

"David has my number if you need to get a hold of me," I added.

He nodded and waved good-bye as he left the room.


	4. Chapter 4

_Killian: Hey Emma, have any plans for lunch today?_

_Emma: ….. which answer involves me not leaving my room today?_

_Killian: Haha very funny. Really though._

_Emma: Sigh…. No I don't have any plans._

_Killian: Great! I'll be by in a few minutes! __J_

I groaned and tossed my phone onto my bed. Mary Margaret looked up from the magazine she was reading.

"What's wrong?"

"Killian. He won't leave me alone."

Mary Margaret laughed. "He's hardly the stalker type. And he's very courteous. Are you really going to complain about his attentions?"

"I can't trust anyone, especially not men," I snapped.

"Not all men are like Neal!" Mary Margaret exclaimed. "And I'm sorry for bringing it up but avoiding the real issue is not helping you! Killian's a nice sweet guy and he deserves at least a small chance."

There was a knock on our door and we both jumped. I ran over and opened the door. True to his word, there was Killian. I glanced down at my casual Saturday outfit and sighed.

"Good morning!" he said.

I mumbled something unintelligible.

"Ready to go?" he asked.

"She needs a few more minutes to change," Mary Margaret chimed in.

I turned and glared at her but she was unfazed.

"I'll wait out here then," Killian said cheerfully.

The door swung shut and Mary Margaret pounced. In two minutes she had me dressed in a pair of dark skinny jeans and an off the shoulder t-shirt.

"Perfect," she beamed. "Now go have fun and don't chase him away!"

She shot me a look as she opened the door and pushed me out to meet Killian.

"Rather pushy, isn't she?" he laughed. "Not that I'm complaining. It's working to my advantage."

I slid my coat on and stuffed my hands in the pockets.

"Come on, Swan. Can't you at least give me a nod?"

"Where are we even going?" I demanded, ignoring his request.

"To lunch," he replied evenly. "I thought I made that pretty clear in my texts."

I rolled my eyes. "I know that, I meant where are we going to eat lunch? What kind of food?"

"It's a surprise, Swan."

After having spent all morning in my darkened room, the blinds closed, the bright sunshine was hurting my eyes. Luckily, the place he ended up leading me to was only a block away. I tried to hide my look of pleasure and surprise as we entered my favorite restaurant. It had literally the best food ever and was insanely affordable, especially for a college student budget.

"Have you been here before?" Killian asked.

I nodded. "You didn't know? I just assumed that Mary Margaret had told you that it was my favorite."

"No, I actually come here a lot. They have absolutely the best –"

"Fries in the world!" I finished.

We both laughed. I couldn't believe we actually had something in common. I shook my head before continuing down that thought trail. There was no way that I was going to even consider the fact that Killian and I could end up…

"I'll order," Killian interrupted my thoughts. "You find a good seat."

I settled in the corner booth without even thinking about it. In a few minutes, Killian joined me, sliding in beside me. I froze as I realized that I was seeing Neal's face instead of Killian's. That's when the flashback started.

_"__I got the fries, baby. Your favorite," Neal grinned._

_"__Thanks," I smiled, glancing back down at my phone._

_"__What do you keep looking at that for?" he demanded. "I'm trying to enjoy some time with you and your mind is miles away."_

_I could sense the anger in his voice and hurried to explain myself._

_"__I'm waiting for an email about my application NYU! It should be coming in any time today," I said excitedly. _

_"__We talked about this, Emma," Neal sighed. "You don't need to go to college. I'm going to provide for you."_

_"__But it's not a bad idea to get a college education," I argued. "As a back-up plan. I mean, what if we don't end up being together at some point in the future. I'm going to need some way to support myself."_

_I knew the words were a mistake as soon as I said them. Neal's face went stony. _

_"__We're leaving," he said firmly._

_He grabbed my arm so tight that I squeaked involuntarily. He dragged me out of the restaurant and down the street._

_"__Are you leaving me?" he yelled, throwing me to the sidewalk. "Is that what you're trying to say? Are you cheating on me?"_

_I cringed as his fists swung at me. _

_"__Stop! Stop it please!"_

_My cries only made him laugh._

_"__Go ahead, leave," he said. "Where are you going to go? All of your stuff is at my apartment. And there is no place that you can go where I won't find you."_

_His next blow sent my head crashing back into the concrete and I fell blissfully unconscious._

When I opened my eyes, Killian was crouching over me. I was laid out flat on the floor. Confused, I sat up and rubbed my head.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

I nodded. He gently took my arm and helped me to my feet. I immediately sat down in the booth, feeling dizzy.

"I'll get some water," he said, jumping up.

Surprisingly, no one was around to observe what had just happened. Killian hurried back with a glass of ice cold water and our tray of food.

"You'll feel better if you eat something," he assured me. "You hit your head pretty hard when you fell."

"What happened?" I asked.

The last thing I remembered was sitting in a booth.

"All of a sudden you just went white and lurched out of your seat like someone was dragging you. Except you tripped and fell to the floor, hitting your head," he explained.

"I had another flashback," I said quietly.

"Are you ever going to tell me what they're about?"

I shook my head and nibbled on a fry. I could feel some color returning to my cheeks. Killian watched me for a few seconds before starting to eat. I was relieved to have his gaze off of me. I wasn't ready for the explanations that he wanted.


	5. Chapter 5

"Another frat party?" I said in disbelief.

"Oh don't sound so surprised," Mary Margaret laughed. "They'd have one every day of the week if they could afford it."

I shrugged. That was probably true, knowing the Greeks. But there was no way that I was getting dragged into this one. I mean, look what had happened at the last one. That could have ended badly. I wasn't going to push my luck.

"Killian really wants to see you there," she added.

She must have known that I was going to refuse the invitation. However, I was not going to go just because some guy wanted me to go. Especially not Killian Jones who couldn't seem to take a hint. I didn't want any relationships ever again.

"Come on, Emma," Mary Margaret pleaded. "I don't know any of the other girls who are going."

"That's what you have David for," I raised my eyebrows. "And I've heard that argument before. It doesn't work anymore."

"What can I say to make you go?" she begged.

This was just getting embarrassing.

"Like I would tell you even if there was something that would make me go," I retorted.

"Ruby is going to be there," she said as an after-thought. "You two are good friends, right?"

"Ruby's going?" I sat up and stared at my roommate. "I haven't seen her in ages."

"So you'll go?" Mary Margaret bounced on her bed.

I immediately realized my mistake. Not that I would mind going if Ruby was there. We always managed to have a good time. She knew all about my past and still managed to draw me out of my shell to have fun and let loose. I rolled out of bed with a groan and let Mary Margaret start digging through my clothes to find a suitable outfit.

A pair of skinny jeans, a sleeveless blouse, and some fresh make-up went on. This time I managed to talk Mary Margaret out of the high heels and opted for some flat sturdy boots instead. She messed around with my hair a bit before just leaving it down around my shoulders. Just in time, a knock sounded on the door and Ruby entered with a wide grin on her face.

I threw my arms around her in an uncharacteristic display of affection. She seemed surprised as well.

"Girl, you are bringing it tonight," she said, looking me over. "I'm glad you decided to come. It's going to be epic!"

Mary Margaret agreed whole-heartedly as she put the finishing touches on her own make-up. She was wearing her usual short dress and high heels. And Ruby. Don't even get me started on Ruby's outfit. It was definitely pushing the boundaries of appropriate but she managed to pull it off. If she didn't already have a boyfriend I would've accused her of trying too hard to lure in guys.

"We're meeting David and Victor there," Ruby said, checking her reflection in our mirror.

"Killian will be there with them," Mary Margaret chimed in.

Ruby raised an eyebrow at me as she linked arms with the two of us and walked us out the door.

"So who's this new guy, Emma?"

"We're not involved at all," I protested. "He's a very persistent friend."

"Those are the best kind," Ruby winked. "You wouldn't be here without us."

"Yeah," I grumbled.

It got a little cold as we walked down the street. I should've worn a coat, or maybe a shirt with sleeves. But thanks to Mary Margaret's obsession with having me look gorgeous, I was freezing my butt off. Hopefully, I could spend most of my time inside where I would be warm.

Ruby kept a tight grip on my arm as we approached the booming frat house, bursting at the seams with drunk college students. Why was it that this was the only way that college students seemed to have fun nowadays?

David enthusiastically greeted us at the entrance. Right behind him was Ruby's handsome boyfriend, Victor, and to my chagrin, a very casual looking Killian. Everyone left with their respective boyfriends, leaving me with Killian.

"How have you been doing?" he asked politely.

Man, this was so awkward. I never knew exactly what to say around him.

"Good," was my one word answer.

If he was frustrated by my lack of participation in the conversation, he did well to hide it. I moved aside as more people streamed into the house and started to party. Killian touched my arm to get my attention on what he was saying.

"Do you want to go somewhere where we can talk?" he asked. "It's kind of loud in here."

No duh. I almost refused his offer. But his face looked so darn pitiful that I couldn't turn him away. Plus, I knew that Ruby and Mary Margaret would jump down my throat if they found out what happened.

"Sure," I agreed.

He took me gently by the hand and led me out into the backyard of the frat house. There was a garden and a little pathway that we followed until it revealed a pond with a really natural looking rock waterfall. Killian climbed up onto the rocks at the edge and took a seat. I watched for a moment before joining him.

"Look, Emma," he started. "You don't have to tell me about what traumatic occurrence in your past is causing these flashbacks but I really think you should get some help. One of these times you could be seriously hurt when you pass out."

"I can't," I protested. "I'll get sent to see a shrink and then they'll ask me all sorts of questions that I can't answer. Besides, it's not like its one single occurrence that is causing these. I didn't exactly have an easy childhood or young adult life."

"Don't you think that talking about it would help?"

"No," I snapped just a little too quickly.

"Fine," he retorted. "I'm just trying to help you, Swan."

"You can help me by leaving me alone," I hissed.

I was reacting in the only way I knew how; lashing out at anyone who managed to get close to me. I was so convinced that they were all going to leave me in the end and it wasn't worth the effort to try and get close to anyone if they were just going to abandon me. I couldn't even look as Killian muttered an apology and left. I don't know how long I sat by the pond, freezing.

"Still pining after me, I see."

I could hear the smirk in his voice without even turning around. My heart started pounding and I involuntarily shivered at the sound of his voice. I thought I'd seen the last of him.

"What are you doing here, Neal?"

"I told you I'd find you, Emma," he assured me. "And it's nice to see that no matter what you still can't seem to replace me with anyone. What we had was special, baby."

"What we had was sick," I snapped. "I don't know why but for some reason beating me up made you feel more manly. But I've moved on, Neal. I don't know why you came, but leave."

I tried to make my words sound firmer than I was feeling at the moment. However, Neal seemed unfazed by my little stand. He moved closer and smiled sweetly at me.

"I told you that you didn't need college, Emma. I'm going to take care of you," he said. "Now come on, it's time to leave."

"What on earth made you think that I would leave with you?"

I jumped off the rocks and backed away from him. He followed me, undeterred by my show of anger. But he was starting to get angry. For two seconds, I considered screaming. No one would hear me above the booming music of the party. I cursed myself for sending Killian away.

In a flash of movement, Neal lunged forward and caught me around the waist, jerking me up against him and pressing something cold to my throat. I froze as the knife pressed into my skin.

"I thought that would make you more obedient," he laughed.

"Let her go."

I don't know who was more surprised; me or Neal. I raised my eyes to see Killian standing a few feet away. I don't know why he had come back but I didn't care. I was so relieved that someone was there to help me. Neal moved the knife from my throat. I started to pull away but Killian's expression caused me to freeze again. That's when I felt the tugging sensation in my stomach. I looked down and saw the knife sticking out of me and immediately felt like I was in a dream. This couldn't be happening in real life.

Neal released me and gave me a push. I fell on my side in the dirt and he ran away. After that, things started to blur together. Killian was kneeling beside me, holding me. Someone was screaming and there was lots of shouting going on.

"Just hold on, Emma."

And then blackness.


	6. Chapter 6

Forget what anyone's ever told you about knife wounds. I don't care what anyone says. They are excruciating. I don't even know how to describe it. Just trust me that it's painful. Maybe take the words pain you've experienced and multiply that by… a million… no infinity! And then you might be close to what it feels like. Did I mention that it was really painful?

All I could do was lay there on my back, strangling the sheets with my tight fists. If I hadn't hated Neal before, I did now. Who is crazy enough to stab someone just because they won't listen to your demands? Okay, I take that back, probably plenty of people.

"Swan, maybe you should find another way to channel your anger. What did those poor sheets ever do to you?"

Of course he would come in here cracking jokes. The pain was not making me a happy camper. Not that I like having him around normally.

"If you expect me to laugh at that, you're going to be disappointed," I practically growled. "I'm not in the mood and it would hurt."

"I apologize, love," he said with a smirk. "Is there anything I can get you?"

"You could get me out of here," I said evenly, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, you're luck," he winked. "The doctor gave me permission to take you home."

"Gave _you _permission?" I demanded. "Where's Mary Margaret or Ruby or David?"

"Or anyone but me?" he said what I was trying to avoid saying. "Well, I am sorry but they were all previously engaged. I only came because we all thought that you would want to get out of here as soon as possible."

I felt guilty. He was right. To be fair, Killian Jones was a really nice guy. I felt bad for continuously pushing him away. I blamed it on my emotional baggage.

"I'm sorry," I said. "I'm just grumpy right now."

"You don't expect me to buy that do you, Swan?" he laughed. "You may be grumpy, but you always hate me. Even on good days."

"Well you've seen my experience with men," I pointed out. "You can't really expect me to be open and trusting after that."

"I think that if you'll give me the chance, we can get there eventually," Killian said.

The two of us just looked at each other for a minute or two. Then Killian handed over the backpack he was holding.

"Mary Margaret sent some clothes for you to change into," he explained. "I assume you can get dressed by yourself?"

"Well you're certainly not helping me if that's what you're asking," I retorted.

He laughed loudly. "That's not what I was hinting at, lass. But if you asked, I would be happy to oblige."

There was the flirting again.

"No," I growled.

Killian grinned at me as he left the room. I winced as I slid not very gracefully off the bed and started pulling on my clothes. As relieved as I was to be wearing something besides a hospital gown, it hurt like heck to be moving around this much. I tried to compose my expression before calling Killian back in. The sooner I got home and into bed, the better. Class tomorrow or even the next day wasn't even in consideration. If my professors weren't understanding then whatever. My 4.0 GPA would take a hit but I'd still manage to graduate.

"You doing all right, Swan?" Killian asked, looking me over.

"I've been better," I said with a grimace. "I just want to get home."

"I can't blame you," he said honestly.

I turned down the offer of a wheelchair, determined to prove that I was just fine. My legs, although not very steady, managed to get me out to Killian's car.

The drive to campus was short. What was surprising was that my entire dorm building was surrounded by men in uniform. There were tons of cop cars parked haphazardly in the street with lights flashing.

"What did you do this time, love?" Killian teased.

"Nothing," I snapped, really not in the mood for teasing.

My bed was looking like it wasn't going to happen anytime soon. Killian opened his door and slid out, gesturing for me to stay put. Of course I didn't.

"Excuse me, sir," he approached an officer with me not far behind. "Can I ask what's going on here?"

"Some psychopath has locked himself in one of the rooms with a girl and a bomb strapped to his chest," the officer grunted. "We've evacuated everyone else from the building and locked it down."

"How soon will it be open again?" I interjected, again thinking only of my warm bed.

"As soon as we get this loony behind bars," the officer said shortly. "Now, I'm gonna have to ask you to step back."

"What happened to all of the people who were evacuated?" I asked as Killian started to pull me away.

"They went home with friends I guess," the cop shrugged.

"Come on, Emma," Killian said quietly. "We'll go back to my frat house and find David. I'll bet you that he has Mary Margaret there with him and she can answer your questions."

I reluctantly let him lead me back. It was another short drive to reach Killian's home. I'd been there a couple of times before but never during the day. And never without a huge party crowd spilling forth from it.

"Wait a second," I said, finally thinking it through. "I thought you said that David and Mary Margaret had class? And that's why they couldn't pick me up from the hospital?"

Killian blushed. He actually blushed. And that's when I knew that he had staged the whole thing just to give me a ride home. This whole business with the psycho with a hostage was completely messed up though. He opened his mouth to give me some lame excuse but one look from me and he just closed it again.

We both remained silent as we walked up the steps and entered his house. David was perched on a stool in the kitchen looking positively sick.

"What's wrong, David?" I asked.

"It's Mary Margaret," he managed to say. "I wanted to be there but the police made me go home so they could 'do their job'."

"What happened to her?" I demanded.

"I assume you know what happened at your dorm since you showed up here," David replied. "Well… Mary Margaret… she's the hostage."


	7. Chapter 7

"Oh my gosh, you've got to be kidding me," I said breathlessly. "How did it happen?"

"There's something else that you need to know," David said slowly.

"Mate, are you sure that all this bad news at once is good for Emma? She just got out of the hospital after being stabbed by her crazy ex-boyfriend," Killian hissed at David.

"That's why this is so important," David retorted just as intensely. "Neal is the one holding Mary Margaret hostage."

"What? Oh my gosh, you've got to be kidding me!" I repeated.

This was unbelievable. I felt light-headed and before I could stop myself, I collapsed against Killian. Luckily, he managed to catch me, or at least keep me from crashing to the floor. I must have passed out for a while because when I began registering things again, I was laying on the couch with David and Killian hovering over me.

"I think she should sleep here tonight," Killian said.

"Well where else was she going to go?" David asked sarcastically. "You keep an eye on her. I need to go speak to the police and see if there are any updates."

"David, mate, hovering outside the building is not going to keep her any safer than staying here," Killian called after him.

But he was already gone. I pressed a hand to my aching head and sat up.

"How are you feeling?" Killian asked.

To his credit, he refrained from forcing me to lay back down.

"Why is it my ex that's completely off his rocker?" I moaned.

To be fair, I wasn't entirely thinking straight. Hence the events that followed shortly.

"It's not your fault," Killian said, touching my cheek gently. "And everything will be fine. Mary Margaret's tough. And so is David. He's not going to let anything happen to her."

"I wish I could find a boyfriend like David," I muttered. "Instead I get Neal's who are abusive and… and…"

For some reason, words were eluding me. So naturally, I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him. Because that made the most sense to my addled brain. Killian responded by wrapping his arms around me and pulling me close.

"I'm not David," Killian said. "But I'm definitely no Neal."

I laid my head on his shoulder and started crying. Killian responded by scooping me up and carrying me down the hall and into his bedroom. He laid me down and pulled the comforter over me. He kissed me on the forehead and moved to leave but I grabbed his hand and wouldn't let go. Another effect of not thinking clearly.

"Emma, you need some sleep," Killian said softly.

"I don't want to be alone," I said pathetically. "Stay, please."

He smiled briefly before settling next to me on the bed. He put his arms around me and held me against his chest. I fell asleep feeling the rise and fall of his chest and listening to his smooth, rhythmic breathing.

When I woke up, Killian was sound asleep beside me, his fingers buried in my hair and the other hand splayed across my back. My head felt a lot clearer than it had before and with that clarity came the harsh reality of the situation involving Neal and Mary Margaret. I disentangled myself from Killian's arms and crept out of the room.

Collecting my jacket from the couch, I snuck out the front door without alerting any of the other frat members that I had even been there. It was, as always, a short walk to my dorm building, but still recovering from a knife wound left me exhausted as I finally reached my destination.

The police still had the building surrounded. But at that exact moment, they were receiving some sort of communication from the crazy madman (aka Neal) so they were gathered in a group in front of the building. I took advantage of their rather convenient distraction and used my key card to slip in the back door.

The hallways and rooms were empty, courtesy of the evacuation. I rode the elevator to my floor and stumbled down the hallway to Mary Margaret and I's room. Not knowing what else to do, I knocked on the door.

"Put your hands above your head!" Neal ordered as he whipped the door open.

He was holding a gun and aiming it straight at my heart. I froze and my hands flew up.

"Neal, it's me, Emma," I said slowly. "I'm not going to attack you."

He laughed. I was entirely unnerved by his cold calculating laugh.

"You couldn't hurt me if you tried, babe."

"You're probably right," I said cautiously. "I just want you to let Mary Margaret go. She's not the one you want. You want me."

Behind Neal, I glimpsed Mary Margaret on the floor with her wrists and ankles duck taped. A strip was also across her mouth and I could see mascara running down her cheeks from crying. Her eyes widened as she saw me.

Neal considered my words before smiling coldly.

"You're right, Em, that is what this is all about."

He grabbed my arm and jerked me into the room. Before I knew what was happening, I was on the floor next to Mary Margaret.

"Neal, you can do what you want with me, but you have to let Mary Margaret go," I said.

"Fair enough," Neal grinned.

He crouched in front of my roommate and undid the tape, ripping it off quickly. Mary Margaret flinched and started crying harder. I really hoped she wouldn't be traumatized for life because of this. I felt horrible that she'd even been dragged into this in the first place.

Neal jerked Mary Margaret to her feet and shoved her out the door, slamming it behind her. And just like that, he forgot about her. I didn't know whether to be relieved or terrified. Neal busied himself wrapping my wrists together with tape. Then he dragged me to my feet and hauled me out the door. I winced as my stitches tore a little at the sharp movement.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"Somewhere where we can finally be alone together," Neal said.

He said it so casually, yet there was a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach at his words. As soon as we walked out the front door, Neal's gun was pressed to my head, holding the police back with his threats. I caught a glimpse of a panicked and very relieved David holding his girlfriend tightly as they watched the scene. But that wasn't the sight that made me freeze. It was seeing Killian standing there staring at me with wide eyes and a completely panicked expression.

Neal gave me a rough shove to get me moving again.

"Anyone moves any closer and I shoot her!" he yelled.

I was pleading with Killian with my eyes. Then it was like something broke. All of a sudden he was running towards me. Then David tackled him from behind. Neal shied away and jerked me hard enough that my stitches tore. I fell to the ground with a hand clutching my side as blood started seeping through my shirt.

"Get up!" Neal yelled, kicking me. "Get up! Get up! Get up!"

"I can't," I gasped, trying to crawl away.

Neal moved forward and tried to keep dragging me towards who knows where. Then all of a sudden Killian was there, pushing Neal away and socking him in the jaw. Neal fell like a brick and the gun dropped from his hand. Killian kicked it far away and then let the police take over handling Neal. He fell to his knees beside me and cradled me in his arms.

"Killian, why?" I asked, breathlessly.

"Why what, love?"

"Why are you still here after all the times I've pushed you away?"

"Because if we aren't willing to fight for the things we love, then we don't deserve them," he replied, stroking my hair. "And you deserve someone who is never going to leave you."


End file.
